Three lessons from Three stories

The Frogs:

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs millions of  them. They all croak  all night long and they are about to make me crazy !" So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks. The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, "Well... where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of  noise!"

Moral:
Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

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The Turtles:

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place for their outing. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last! For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE ! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

Moral:
Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

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The Pretty Lady:

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite." The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

Moral:
This very old Chinese zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady". We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over. It is just that simple...

Developing Kids effective listening skills:

One of the most important and much essential parts of our day to day life is to communicate and for that we must be a good listener. We all know this fact … but we need to help our children cultivate the habit of effective listening & communicating as early as possible so that they naturally develop the skill.  It also makes our own lives as parents easier in the long run.

If courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Listening more provides us great opportunities of learning new things and knowledge about the world around us.

There are many ways in which we can motivate our kids to learn ‘the art of active listening’.

-       Motivate the kid and make them feel special, they love it the most when they are cared a lot.

-       Get them involved in a play and demonstrate to them the art of active listening & explain to them how it will help them, so that they are clear with the concept.

-       Show them videos containing effective discussions & exchange of dialogues. Bournvita quiz contest is a best example of this.  This quiz contest is at present one of the longest running shows in Indian television and is immensely popular among the school kids of India as well as quiz enthusiasts of all ages.

-       Maintain a good eye contact.

-       Show your kid how when you are listening actively to her you wait until she pauses, then will prompt her to tell you more by asking a brief question. Get your child to practice this on you. You can pick any topic of the kid’s choice for this discussion as it will help them come out with lots of questions at you & vice-versa.

-       Demonstrate them the polite way of listening properly and help them learn the natural pauses in conversation before speaking.

-       Be a good role model so that it becomes easy for kids to follow the parents.

-       Most of the successful people are the ones who do more listening than talking.

-Deepa

Creativity in kids

As soon as a child is born, parents start making plans for him or her. It’s the basic tendency every parent feel, which is genuine too. Later as the child grows, they get into the job of              implementing the plan that they have been making for it since its birth. But most of the parents never think of the child’s own creative instinct. Every child has his or her own form of creative visualization, like singing, dancing, drawing, or any other forms of arts for that matter. Young children perceive the world in their own unique way and need the freedom to express these perceptions creatively. The parents must allow the children to explore and independently discover their world.

                Unfortunately the children are under so much pressure to conform to the expected standards, that the individual talents are totally ignored. They are driven with a set of expectations irrespective of their likings. The tremendous pressure on the kids perplexes them from bringing out their hidden talents and hence it stays unexplored.

So, do we finally just let the situation take over the lives of our children or do we let the child explore its hidden talents?

Parents can go thru few points jotted below to nurture the child’s creative flash or sporting talent.

·         Believe in the fact that the academic excellence is not the only source of existence.

·         A basic level of knowledge is must, but there should also be a line driven in between to identify the child’s abilities and interests it has in mind.

·         Realizing the real potential of the kid in a chosen level of the likings directly leads to happiness and high self esteem.

·         Expose the child to wide-ranging environments, activities & creative shops at an early age.

·         Allow the child the freedom to play and explore without any constraints.

·         Have the child attend various workshops and summer camps so that they get more involved in extracurricular activities.

·         Activities like gardening, painting, crafts,swimming etc. creates interest in the kids and get them involved as well.

Finally, Parents can educate creativity to children by emphasizing Out-of-the-box ideas in a non-evaluative framework. Parents can also motivate the children to have the opportunity and confidence to take the ride on a rollercoaster risks, challenges and see things in a new way.

Remember that - every child is special in its own way and not equally intelligent or creative as other.

-   Deepa